Saturday, 10 February 2018

Post

I had no intentions of writing anything on here tonight. I had planned to do a stash of ironing but I blithely poured a generous amount boiling water over my left hand rather than into a cup so I'm somewhat handicapped from doing anything that involves gripping anything.  My reaction times haven't really got any better even though the blood glucose problems have ceased so I continued pouring the water over myself long after it had started to hurt!  Perhaps it was a lesson to instruct me not to get a car.  I had been toying with the idea of getting a car, but now I've shown myself that my coordination is still so lousy, I'll stick to public transport.  Besides, Bucharest is officially the worst traffic jam in Europe.... what would be the point?

I was out today with one of my few Catholic friends in the city.  Neither of us wanted to talk about the current state of the Church, indeed the Ostpolitik with China hurts people so much here; living under Communism only feels like yesterday. Whatever good intentions Rome has, there seems to be no wisdom in it.  Conversation drifted onto Bl John Henry Newman, Dominican spirituality, the joys of plainchant and Latin liturgy and we both felt better! It is all far away in space and time, but we can still be inspired by such things.

And so the Great Lent looms.  I'm busy emptying my freezer of its stash of Russian ice cream.  Doing the "full Byzantine" will be a challenge but one that strangely fills me with joy.  Going Greek-Catholic is practical, it means I don't have to take extra days off work, it means I am in step with my Orthodox chums; fasting and feasting when they do and praying for the dead when they do.....  The joy I feel is something that I can not describe; it is the joy I feel whenever I see the icon of Christ standing on the crossed, ruined gates of Hell, pulling Adam and Eve out into the light....

I'm not feeling at my strongest right now.  My dragon is defiant, smug, very irritating and doing its best to fill me with darkness and despondency. Thanks be to God! I am exhausted by my job and that little voice that I used to hear back in Blighty that said I must do something else with my life, has not gone away, indeed it is getting louder.  It isn't my employment, it is me..... my heart is in something else...... I'm just not sure what... but I want to be creating something beautiful, and doing something with my hands (when they aren't wrapped in damp linen and witch hazel), or doing something with words, I like words.....

Lent will sort things out; sift the fantasy from the reality, the natural desires from the supernatural...
May it be profitable to all of us irrespective of whether we have buried (Latin) or multiplied (Eastern) our alleluias.

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