Saturday, 11 July 2015

Bloggers Block (2)

When you are in love, you're senses are heightened and there is delight in all things creative; you love music, poetry and art and the pattern and movement of every aspect of your life is poetic, the mundane is transcended, a song echoes from every corner and it sings of the highest of things. In joy and in sorrow, the song rings out the same, there is beauty in everything.

Well, dear reader, I think I'm totally out of love for the Catholic Church.  This is not the same as not loving and being loved by God.  God's love is ring-fenced, it is solid, it is unshakable and the poetry sounds out, deep unto deep...

But the Catholic Church is like a lover I no longer recognise. I hear her voice and it doesn't make my heart leap for joy, indeed it seems to have a sibilance to it I don't remember hearing before.  I witness her liturgy and anything higher than the lowest of low Masses sounds like sounding brass and clashing symbol, I want the noise to cease as it seems like nothing but distraction. Indeed, I wish she'd shut up.  I wish she was silent.  Her staggering beauty is still there in her persecuted and forgotten, but all that is done in public that is meant to enhance her beauty, or simply promote her, just looks and sounds plain wrong. It is a bit like one of those child beauty pageants, the child would simply be more beautiful is she weren't on the stage and if she weren't wearing make-up.

So basically, without an infatuation with the Catholic Church, I've lost my creativity, I've lost my drive... and because I'm kinda married to her, I've nowhere else to go....

I'm not in love, but hopefully it is as those nice boys from Sale Grammar School once sung "it's just a silly phase I'm going through"


3 comments:

Ttony said...

Duty can often be hard and arid: it doesn't stop it being duty.

Some people would probably find something they could put on their blog weekly, without having to think too much about what. You might try that.

Bruvver Eccles said...

The Catholic Church hasn't changed, so maybe you have?

Rita said...

Dear Bruvver Eccles

"To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often"- to quote Bl John Henry Newman. Yes, I suppose I have changed but it is only so that I can be saved, like you.