My grandfather (who was a graduate from said dump) gave me his bookstand which has these words written on it as part of the crest, and this graces my desk as you can see below. [I was too lazy to even consider applying to this seat of learning, and so attended an ancient in the distant North that only required grade C's at A'level]
Yes, the Lord is my light. How important those words are. And somehow, like many others out there on the interwebs, I'm not getting the light to blog much. And yes, I do wonder why this is.
For me there seem to be several, not unconnected reasons:
- Real life is just too damn hard right now.
- Part of the reason why real life is hard is that I love the Church so much and I'm increasingly finding I'm being called upon to give witness to that love. This is demanding, intense and rooted in prayer and silence and not really stuff I can blog about. This witness to the faith seems to be the result of an ever growing spiritual battle for the Truth. The windows, doors, skylights and coal bunkers of the Church are well and truly open, all sorts of stuff is sniffing around. ... Metaphorically speaking, I feel like I'm having to guard the ancient books, silks and silver ware from intruders who don't understand its use! (And I don't think I'm alone in feeling like this)
- The Traddies, for the large part seem to have lost the plot. There is no spiritual nourishment amongst them. There is too much kvetching about the current papacy. They are boring me. It is all "toys out of the pram" with them. Blogging does not exist in a vacuum, one needs some sort of intellectual illumination to inspire one.... increasingly I find I'm just on the blogs to try to get people to wake up and reconnect with their faith, but increasingly I'm wondering if they had any in the first place. There is no humour, no gentleness, and little that illuminates out there.
- It simply isn't a papacy that is intellectual in any way what so ever. Previously, somebody on the blogs would pick up on something the Holy Father had said (usually an erudite clerical blogger), produce an inspiring meditation on it, and the fruits of this would nourish other bloggers and their posting for weeks. We're not getting that right now. Whilst the inspirations of the liturgical year remain our common ground, there was something more immediately "blogfriendly" about responding to papal utterances, some sort of Catholic bonding was taking place. Now there are simply too many words and too many gestures; some careless, some profound, some too easy to become infuriated with. The times do not inspire careful, insightful, holy blogging...
- When I try to write sometimes, I feel like I'm repeating myself. I've said all I want to say about about certain issues, especially pertaining to human sexuality, and as this issue comes up again and again and people like Voris are not helpful, and there appears to be little solid guidance from Rome, it is not for me to keep banging the drum for orthodoxy on the net, I've got a life to live, this battle is being fought in the very classrooms where I teach and the streets where I live and amongst those I'm close to and love. Dominus illuminatio mea.... too right!
- Real life is just too damn hard right now...