Monday, 30 May 2011

Maybe it's my age....

but I love these brutes.

Nice to know one is still doing useful work and producing that wonderful noise.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

People keep asking me if I'm feeling OK. How am I supposed to respond? Well, dear blogger chums, perhaps you can understand if I say I'm living Psalm 83 at the moment, that is how I feel. I am reading this Psalm a lot:

How lovely are thy tabernacles, O Lord of hosts!
My soul longeth and fainteth for the courts of the Lord
My heart and my flesh have rejoiced in the living God.
For the sparrow hath found herself a house,
and the turtle a nest for herself where she may lay her young ones:

Thy altars, O Lord of hosts, my king and my God.
Blessed are they that dwell in thy house, O Lord;
they shall praise thee for ever and ever.

Blessed is the man whose help is from thee:
in his heart he hath disposed to ascend by steps,
in the vale of tears, in the place which he hath set.

For the lawgiver shall give a blessing,
they shall go from virtue to virtue:
the God of gods shall be seen in Sion.
O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer:
give ear, O God of Jacob.

Behold, O God our protector:
and look on the face of thy Christ.
For better is one day in thy courts above thousands.
I have chosen to be an abject in the house of my God,
rather than to dwell in the tabernacles of sinners.
For God loveth mercy and truth:
the Lord will give grace and glory.
He will not deprive of good things them that walk in innocence:
O Lord, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.

I am also utterly overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of my fellow humans. I feel totally undeserving. It is (for me) a great act of the will and the intellect as well as the heart to try to respond to his ourpouring of love and affection by giving as I receive. It isn't easy for me. I am a sinner, my natural instinct is to dismiss such kindness as mere sentimentality, and just let myself get by with a heart that is little more than a pilot light of warmth and charity.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Last offices

If you are a UK resident and your loved one dies in hospital, you may be interested in the following from the Good Funeral Guide

I have had a morbid interest in that particular blog for some time, though I must warn readers it's content and some of the views of its writer are not Catholic (however that is not a criticism). We can't live in an Amish like bubble and it is an excelllent resource to get to grips with the confused secular world and its prevailing attitudes towards death and dying.

I draw your attention to the linked article becuse some of you may be quite astonished and ought to be outraged by the way some UK hospitals treat the bodies of the dead. I was astonished and didn't quite believe it till it happened to my husband.

Due to reasons I'm not going into, my husband's Requiem Mass and funeral will be this Wednesday, just over two weeks since he died. The hospital where Paul died routinely sends its patients to the undertakers in body bags with cannulas and catheters still attached. Body bags from this hospital are often full of urine. People who die at home or in nursing care are not treated like this. Anyway, my husband was very sick when he died and the treatment of his body after his death by the hospital meant that it has deteoriated rapidly. This is distressing, very distressing. But I want you to know it is happening and will probably keep on happening for some time.

One way round this is to make sure you ask to view the body in the hospital mortuary. They have to clean it up them....

Tact will prevent me from mentioning the name of the hospital involved, which sadly will prevent me from telling you the name of the church where the requiem will take place (at 1pm). However, Paul is going out with full Catholic honours; being received into church the night before, a black pall over the coffin, black vestments, Latin (novus ordo) Mass, sung In Paradisum on leaving the church......

I don't need to remind you that the Church in such a special gift and blessing; do everything in your power to help it flourish.

Friday, 13 May 2011

It has taken me a while to get here, but I now have to report the news to you that my husband, Paul died at 9.20 pm on Tuesday 10th May. I humbly ask now that you pray for the repose of his soul.

It was a good death. It was a beautiful death. I wake up every morning and cry because I cannot believe I was able to participate in such an outpouring of grace. Perhaps one day I'll write in more detail, but not now.

Actually, I implore you too to pray for a happy death as he did every night. It is such an important thing to do.

If I could, on my own testimony, raise Bl John Henry and my dear Bl Elizabeth of the Trinity to be amongst the canonised saints, I'd do so now. They have worked miracles for us in the last few weeks.

I also give thanks to God for your wonderful prayers and support. This is the real power of blogging, and never let us forget that.


Well my dear St Rita, I'm a widow now like you, what ever next .....?

Sunday, 8 May 2011


My husband remains critical. One of his doctors seems to be getting impatient, it is useless to tell him supernatural battles are taking place too and that things will happen in their own time.

One of the things about having your other half in such a condition, is that I'm finding I need to be scrupulous about my own conduct. I was glad St Peter used that very word in the second reading today. I'm finding that if my own conduct is rigorous in terms of examination of conscience, charity and patience and all done out of love for the Lord, it leads to a welcome calmness. Although the demons of doubt still prowl and tease in the small hours, I have better armour and find it easier to call on the angels to help fend them off. I do so wonder if that sacramental union in the marriage has some real mysterious depths. Desiring closeness to Christ and love for husband can not be separated.

Keep us in your prayers, as I do you.

Having said that, patience and charity are being somewhat tested by elements in the Catholic blogger world. Suffice to say; I'm really pleased that some of you profess to love Jesus, I'm just glad you do it some place else, because if I met you I'd struggle not to give you a jolly good pasting. Beware of becoming too big for your own blog, beware of becoming Sadducees, your religion is unappealing.

Monday, 2 May 2011


What is going on?

How unwise can we be? Libya (what part of establishing a no fly zone does killing the son of the ruler cover)...rejoicing over the death of OBL (how crass, how we will regret this)

We are ruled by infidels.

Maybe Blake was right and Jerusalem was builded here (Europe and the US not just England), we are certainly paying the cost for our unfaithfulness. Jerusalem is ruined, we have no leaders with merit.

Isaiah chap 3

For behold, the sovereign, the Lord of hosts, shall take away from Jerusalem and from Juda the valiant and the strong...the captain over fifty, and the honorable in countenance, the counselor, the architect and the skilful in eloquent speech.

And I will give children to be their princes; and the effeminate shall rule over them. And people shall rush one upon another; the child shall make tumult against the ancient, and the base against the honourable.
A pox on you; Obama, Cameron, Sarkozy! Seek ye wisdom before you drag us all to witness Hell.