Saturday, 18 June 2011

What do you do with your husband's side of the bed when he's gone?

That was where he said his prayers, morning and night, but it used to be a mess of shoes and pharmacy products for his skin. They've all gone now. I can't bear to empty his sock drawer, but shoes gatheting dust and stuff form the chemist have all been consigned to the archives of oblivion.



I decided it would be where I'd say my prayers too. That is the drop leaf table I bought with my first wage. The Our Lady of Perpetual Succor was my grandfather's. The prayer card is Bl John Henry, the prayer book is Paul's copy of John Henry's Meditations and Devotions, he was never without it. The Sacred Heart was my mother-in-law's. The other picture is St Thomas Aquinas. Infront of that on a card is the Te Deum, which I say most mornings. There are also some blessed medals that were with Paul when he died and my relic of Bl Elizabeth of the Trinity. Everything has some significance which goes beyond blurring sentimental memory...

It is not a shrine to him. I just felt I needed a strong focus for prayer in the house to remind me to keep praying for him and to hope I can be inspired to match his intense prayer life.


Just thought I'd share that with you.

5 comments:

Anagnostis said...

Memory Eternal. I remembered him today, on the Saturday before All Saints.

The "side of the bed" thing, I remember very well. After my first wife died I simply occupied it and in fact, have remained there ever since. The first thing I did with the house was to put everything back where it was before she got ill and began making bizarre adjustments everywhere. It was partly a kind of desperation to "see over" her last few weeks, which for a while eclipsed and blotted out everything else - an acutely painful period, like losing her twice. The equivalent of the sock drawer remained untouched for at least a year, though the shoes and the pills also went very early. I'm always slightly shocked by people who clear the house completely of a dead spouse's minor effects within days, but I suppose everybody's different. Don't rush it, is my only suggestion.

Ttony said...

Don't call it a shrine, but maybe a chantry: I can't see what the problem is in having a fixed place in which you are going to remember somebody and pray for him.

Tom in Vegas said...

Very nice indeed. I like its simplicity.

I know I sound cliche, but have you read a Grief Observed by Lewis?

Robert said...

Very appropriate, and beautiful.

Autumn said...

(((((Rita)))))