Saturday, 28 May 2011

People keep asking me if I'm feeling OK. How am I supposed to respond? Well, dear blogger chums, perhaps you can understand if I say I'm living Psalm 83 at the moment, that is how I feel. I am reading this Psalm a lot:

How lovely are thy tabernacles, O Lord of hosts!
My soul longeth and fainteth for the courts of the Lord
My heart and my flesh have rejoiced in the living God.
For the sparrow hath found herself a house,
and the turtle a nest for herself where she may lay her young ones:

Thy altars, O Lord of hosts, my king and my God.
Blessed are they that dwell in thy house, O Lord;
they shall praise thee for ever and ever.

Blessed is the man whose help is from thee:
in his heart he hath disposed to ascend by steps,
in the vale of tears, in the place which he hath set.

For the lawgiver shall give a blessing,
they shall go from virtue to virtue:
the God of gods shall be seen in Sion.
O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer:
give ear, O God of Jacob.

Behold, O God our protector:
and look on the face of thy Christ.
For better is one day in thy courts above thousands.
I have chosen to be an abject in the house of my God,
rather than to dwell in the tabernacles of sinners.
For God loveth mercy and truth:
the Lord will give grace and glory.
He will not deprive of good things them that walk in innocence:
O Lord, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.

I am also utterly overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of my fellow humans. I feel totally undeserving. It is (for me) a great act of the will and the intellect as well as the heart to try to respond to his ourpouring of love and affection by giving as I receive. It isn't easy for me. I am a sinner, my natural instinct is to dismiss such kindness as mere sentimentality, and just let myself get by with a heart that is little more than a pilot light of warmth and charity.

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