Driving to work this morning, the nice lady news reader on Radio 3 announced that people now have the right to harass Catholics at Sydney's World Youth Day, because if they didn't it would be an infringement of their human rights. So the right to distribute contraception outside the venue as a protest towards the Church and its teachings has been established. The newsreader went on to say that WYD was the Pope's way of spreading the word about global warming. I was getting cross at this point, so used my time to compose an imaginary reply to a fictitious condom distributor at the event. This was hastily written at work before the network crashed and I had to find something important to do, here it is.
Just what is it with these things? Nasty, smelly, slimey things. What are they for? You tell me they prevent the spread of disease. But they are not as effective as the way promoted by our Papa. You tell me they are about safe sex. Let me tell you that we're not interested in that. We are interested in love. Papa wants us to have a good healthy loving relationship with our life partner through the sacrament of marriage, that is one place where true love is found and the only home of the sexual act. You can't tell me anything about that. Can you tell me anything about chastity? Can you tell me about how we are all to live continent lives and not give in to base urges and desires? Do you understand about love for your fellow man that never reveals itself in the sexual act?
So, just how many men is it that can't use them? 20%, 30%...or higher? They are no panacea, they create a whole heap of problems. We Catholics have freed ourselves from their false logic. It is clever of you to make men feel ashamed because they can't sustain anything when strangulated by a piece of latex. Come off it, these things kill passion. Admit it, it's like having a bath with your socks on.
Respectfully, Dude, leave us alone or rid yourself to these things, join us and find out about true love.