Wednesday, 21 November 2007

You may find the photo distressing

Is it wrong to get nostalgic for the days when teeth had personality? In the 70s wasn't this man a bit of a freak for having a perfect set of tombstones? Now, everyone wants teeth like that.

Donny Osmond

Besides, I just don't find perfect teeth at all appealing.

English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.

Spike Milligan

Besides, didn't our noble PM somehow become less convincing when his teeth got the Osmond treatment?


WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

LOL! My kids are always commenting on the glow-in-the-dark quality of some TV folks teeth. It can distract from what they are saying.
And yes Tony became even more sinister with the flashing fangs...or is my imagination running riot?

la mamma said...

Rita, Do you know this one of Pam Ayres'?


but I lack the technological know-how to embed, so here it is:

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!

If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."

How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

You can find Pam's forthcoming concert dates at

Rita said...

Gosh! Pam Ayres is a happy blast from the past, I can remember her appearing on children's telly quite a bit when I was small. I've always liked her stuff.

AutumnRose said...

I feel better about my teeth now! :¬)