Wednesday, 10 October 2007

No title...

This is a difficult post for me to write, but one I feel I need to write.

This post concerns Mary and my relationship with the Mother of God. I love to pray the rosary and do so as regularly as I can, I know she interceeds for me and is my most powerful advocate before Our Lord. It is just that I can't feel her there for me, like I can lesser saints. I can't picture her. Icons and great works of art don't help me. When I turn to her and ask for her intercession, it is literally with blind trust because I do not know that she is there.

So I try to focus intensely on her Son, because I'm sure that is what she wants me to do. It is not for the Son to lead me to his mother, though I know He gave her to us from the cross.

As a result of all this, I feel isolated from many of my fellow Catholics, who have such a beautiful, innocent, childlike relationship with her. I will not blame my upbringing for this, though I grew up in a household where Marian devotions were often referred to as goddess worship and scorned or belittled. There is really no point in finding blame. It is just the way things are.

This may be one of the reasons why, when I'm working with young people and instructing them in the faith, I'm so keen on making sure they build up a good relationship with Mary and learn to love the rosary. We all need her love and intercession, nobody needs the warped and damaged perspective I live with.

I'm hoping just writing this will help. I'd dearly like to be able to remove this post at some later date, feeling it no longer reflected my situation.


faccio la mamma said...

Oh, Rita, my heart goes out to you. You are faithful and, as you know, the Lord asks for nothing more. Keep going, girl! Oremus pro invicem.

AutumnRose said...

Dear Rita,

Do not blame yourself for not being able to 'feel' or connect with Our Lady. That does not mean that she isn't there (as you will know). The very fact that you still teach others to build a devotion to her is a sign of your faith and trust in her.

Believing by faith, and not by sight, is a sign of a maturity of faith, and there will come a time when you will be doubly blessed for your faith. Every Rosary prayer offered is like incense rising to the throne of God. Through the intercession of Mary it is more greatly perfumed, as St. John Vianney said:

"When we have handled something fragrant our hands perfume whatever they touch;
let our prayers pass through the hands of our Lady, she will perfume them."

I will pray that Our Holy Mother will allow you to share in the blessings of that heavenly perfume your prayers make. I feel sure she will!

Praying for you, bless you for sharing this with us,
AR xxx

Rita said...

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, it is much appreciated.