Thursday, 31 October 2013

feeling unloved .....

One gets to the point sometimes when one asks the stupid question of oneself: would the Pope like me?  It is a daft question and ultimately meaningless, but it is very human to feel unloved.  I have to say I think this is already a remarkable and brilliant papacy, it is gradually bringing out all the vile creeping things from under the stones and into the full light of day, long may this continue. However on a personal level, I'm feeling very misunderstood and unloved, but he's never met me, so that isn't his fault!

  • I'm relatively affluent, not materially poor-  I feel unloved by Francis
  • As a Catholic in an affluent part of the world, the people I'm amongst and the poverty I know I ought respond to with all my love is to be found in disaffected teenagers who own ponies, affluent homosexuals, ageing Tablet readers and alcoholics with wine cellars.  There aren't any favelas nearby for me to devote my energies and prayers - I feel unloved by Francis.
  • I'm happier attending the Old Rite.
  • I feel upset that he can say Mass on an altar with asymmetric candles and a flower display, and somehow feel this is a sign he doesn't love me- I need to get a life.
  • I'm a physicist, he's a chemist.  This is pure prejudice on my part, but chemists tend to believe in those wretched little things called atoms and it gives them a very different view of the world. The physicist is more metaphysical, less concerned with things that show themselves materially, the chemist is more down to earth and practical; often we have great difficulty in communicating with each other in a common language.
  • He berates "sacristy catholics"- I spend a lot of time in the sacristy and I love to make the fabrics look nice AMDG- I feel unloved by Francis who seems untouched by the power of freshly starched linen.
  • Our tastes in music are very different.  Wagner?- eeew.
  • He communicates through feelings and gestures.  My roots are Northern European and Oriental; feelings are to be controlled, indeed I was brought up to believe that showing one's feelings was tantamount to having some sort of hormonal weakness.  I live my life where love manifests in my will and my hidden actions and not in my feelings.  "...I can do no other"  ;-)
  • As far as I'm concerned, solitude rocks!  Francis is gregarious. We find God in different ways, God find us in different ways.
  • I like old skool Thomistic manuals, he doesn't.
So I wonder, if we met, if he'd have any time for me? I'll probably never find out.  The important thing is that he so obviously loves Our Lord and His Blessed Mother so much, so so much; and that ultimately is why God has chosen him, and that is why I will follow him, love him and trust in his leadership.

And Pope Emeritus looks so happy these days, not like a man who has made a BIG mistake.

1 comment:

Ttony said...

"... chemists tend to believe in those wretched little things called atoms and it gives them a very different view of the world. The physicist is more metaphysical, less concerned with things that show themselves materially, the chemist is more down to earth and practical ..."

As an insight into the lens through which to read the Pope, this is very useful indeed.

Ta muchly.